November 06, 2004

Dating Advice™

Dating Advice™ is where I ask you, Dear Reader, for help as I reintroduce myself into the dating world. If this works as I hope it will, I'll ask a question every so often and, hopefully, you'll give me feedback that'll help me get my dating shit together if you will.

And no, I have no plans to turn this into anything commercial. The simple fact is that I'm scared shitless about dating and am asking for your help.

For the record, the last time I went on a first date was October 1991. That's 13 years ago, people. Thirteen years. In case you're wondering what was going on back then, check this out.

First question: How can you tell if someone is flirting with you as opposed to just being friendly?


In my opinion: Eye contact and hair fiddling. A woman makes eye contact differently when she's flirting with someone, holding a gaze a bit longer than being friendly, combined with looking at a guy kind of coyly out of the side of the eye from time to time. Add touching and playing with our hair more than usual and I think you've got flirting. :-)

Posted at November 6, 2004 12:50 PM

I was going to say that you suddenly feel a little funny down there but then realized that it was 1) inappropriate, and smitten is NEVER inappropriate, and 2) irrelevant - boys always feel funny down, with or without a girl flirtin' at them.

Dude, I'm so BACK.

Posted at November 6, 2004 09:07 PM

I am useless because I have had no success in dating. And I'm a hopeless flirt. In fact, my online profile (out of use since Dec. 2003) mentioned that I dislike flirting and if that is a problem, best be moving on.
But I'm psyched for this! The Anti-Advice column--all questions, no answers. Whee!

Posted at November 6, 2004 10:18 PM

Look for tell tale questions or statements. For example if she says, "your place or mine" or "Do you have a condom?" then she's definately flirting. Additionally if she says "don't touch me there" or "I'm calling the cops" then she's just being friendly.

Posted at November 8, 2004 10:13 AM

That's a tough one. Especially when trying to look at it from the male point of view. I'm a terrible flirter, so I think it's painfully obvious when I'm interested in someone, as opposed to when I'm just being friendly. I'm obviously much more comfortable and easy-going around guys I'm not interested in. So, tell-tale signs for me would be a bit of nervousness/awkwardness, tripping over words, etc. I also agree with Maura--prolonged eye-contact, more smiling than is necessary, and casual touching of any kind.

Posted at November 8, 2004 11:01 AM

I've been debating with myself whether to respond to your posting. After I divorced, I found myself asking myself a question "Would I have more fun staying at home with my 2 wonderful dogs and 4 cats?" Most of the time my answer would be home with the "Girls." When I did venture out into the dating world, most of the time I had wished I had stayed at home. Figure out where you want to be and go from there.

Posted at November 8, 2004 07:21 PM

Perhaps I'm being a touch cynical (or disgusted, as the case may be), but as far as I can tell, anytime a girl feigns the most remote interest in a guy, he thinks she's flirting with him.

I'm sorry, I realise that that doesn't really answer your question. So, well, I can give it from a personal standpoint. When I flirt with a guy, I smile a touch more, I delve a bit more deeply with the questions and actually enter into some sort of discourse. Everything's a degree more playful and.. well.. flirty.

Gosh, I'm no help at all. But it *is so hard to figure out the difference.

Posted at November 8, 2004 10:08 PM

Howard, does she have her shirt on or off while talking to you? That's usually an indication.

And good luck, Howard. I bet it is pretty scary indeed.

Posted at November 9, 2004 01:45 PM