March 21, 2006

The Bee Man

So how come none of you told me that yellow jackets love holly bushes?

I took a half a day Friday because I was sick of this place...and I have plenty of vacation time. First thing I did was assemble the newest member of the family. Say hello to my new child, Weber. He's such a nice boy.

The instructions say you can put it together in 30 minutes...15 if you're a pro. I must be mentally challenged because it took me an hour and a half. (I would have said "I must be a retard", but of course, that's not politically correct and I don't want to get sued.)

Anyway, when I was done with that, I decided I'd cut the The lawn mower started on the first pull and off we go. Finished the front and side yards and then started the small section to the left of the driveway by the big holly bush. I walked right up to it, shoved the mover underneath to get the, and that's when I noticed the bee. Which quickly became two bees. Which then quickly became about 30 or 40 bees. Yeah. Ick.

I read somewhere a long time ago that if you get around bees, you should stand still. I don't remember if it said why you should do that, but it sounded like good advice so that's what I've always done. I killed the mower, stood still as a stone, and tried not to scream like a girl. Dude...I hate bees.

That must have been the longest minute or two of my life...well, that is if you don't count the first time I had sex. The bees decided that a sweaty former Jew didn't taste nearly as good as the flowers so they left me alone. Yeah, I know y'all were waiting for me to get the crap stung out of me, but my Bub didn't raise no fool. Apparently standing still works.

Anybody need two dead holly bushes? Take that bees!


Ahhhh, I bet you were relieved. I got stung in my yard before I knew it, though. Those stings HURT!!

Posted at March 21, 2006 04:42 PM

::shudder:: this just gives me the willies. I have wasps come into my trailer every day (the one I teach in, not the one I live in, which I stubbornly refuse to call a learning cottage)and I can't figure out where they are coming from. At all. Maybe I'll start looking in the bushes.

Posted at March 26, 2006 03:56 PM

google is the good search engine.

Posted at March 31, 2006 09:39 PM

google is the good search engine.

Posted at April 1, 2006 12:27 AM

google is the good search engine.

Posted at April 1, 2006 02:09 AM

google is the good search engine.

Posted at April 3, 2006 06:41 AM