Too Cool for School

Dude, look. I know you're desperately trying to appear as one of the "cool" people in the office and I can appreciate that. Many of us want to be thought of as one of the cool kids, but let's face it, some of us (me included) are just not part of that group. Sure, we try hard, but it's one of those things that's just outside of our reach.

I do, however, applaud your continued attempts. If I may make two suggestions? First, the Bluetooth headset. Let it go, son. It does nothing but intensify your inherent dorkiness. Trust me. I have it on good authority that a recruiter from Dorks R Us is begging to talk to you after seeing the picture of you with the Bozo the Clown haircut and the headset. Lose it and lose it now. Second? This is the big one so pay close attention. I implore you to follow my advice. OK. Here goes:

If you insist on wearing the headset, that's cool. But please do not combine that with wearing your iPod headphones. While taking a leak.

It's automatically catapaulted you to the head of the line at Geekworld; do not pass GO, do not collect your 200 Galactic Credits.