October 06, 2004

Vegetation Vandal Re-redux

Well friends, it happened again. The philodendron we've been monitoring so closely has nary a leaf left. It's hanging in there, but does not seem to have the strength to generate new growth.

People around here are starting to get angry. If it happens once, fine, no big deal. When it happens again, though, then that's going to become a problem. Several lynch mobs were seen roaming the halls this morning, but the perp has not been found. We have no clues, no weapon, no motive, and now, no leaves. The lone survivor has been put into the Witness Protection Program and is said to be living happily as a cactus in Secaucus, New Jersey. Don't say anything, though, because that's supposed to be a secret.

If you get a minute, go home and give your plants a nice drink of water and a little Miracle Grow. You never know when it could happen to you.

UPDATE: There is a new plant in his office...and a webcam. You cannot imagine the ideas that are floating around here. Some folks are talking about going in with a Clinton mask on, others are saying we should re-enact The Orient Express and everyone cuts a single leaf, while still others are figuring out ways to rig up GI Joe dolls with the Kung Fu grip and a pocket knife. Production has pretty much come to a screeching halt. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to sew a pair of scissors onto my Janus the Muppet doll. Seems ol' Janus is going to do a little cuttin'.