It went something like this...
Scene: Company breakroom, early morning. Our hero enters, dragging ass, trying to find some caffeine.
Cleaning Lady: Mornin'! How you doing today?
Our Hero: grumblegrumblegrumble
Cleaning Lady: Oh, now, don't be that way.
Our Hero: I know, I know, but I'm already worn out and it's only Tuesday.
[silence for about 3 seconds]
Cleaning Lady: Darlin', uh, you know today ain't Tuesday?
Our Hero: Huh?
Cleaning Lady: Today's not Tuesday, it's Wednesday. We were off Monday.
Our Hero gives her a blank look as his brain wraps itself around the fact that it's not Tuesday.
Cleaning Lady: It's Wednesday, I promise.
Our Hero: Holy cow, you're right, it IS Wednesday. Wahoo! Yes!
Cleaning Lady: (laughs) You need to dial it up a bit, son, the days are gettin' by you.
Our Hero: Yes, Ma'am, you got that right. Either that or buy a watch that has the days on it.
I guess the moral of this story is this: Going through life being a dumbass isn't so bad if you don't realize you're a dumbass.
Going through life being a dumbass isn't so bad if you realize there's a phrase that says "Ignorance is bliss." But you may not. Because you're a dumbass.
Posted at June 1, 2005 10:17 AMI'm tellin ya, its' the whole red thong thing that has him all discombobulated.....
Posted at June 1, 2005 10:19 AMIs today a red thong day????
Posted at June 1, 2005 02:23 PMBut what happens when someone points out your a dumbass? Then your carefully crafted facade of dumbassedness comes crashing down around your ears and you're just left standing there, holding your butt. No, I vote for being a smartass. :)
Also, I like thongs (on women).
Posted at June 1, 2005 04:22 PMOf course, that was "you're a dumbass" not "your a dumbass". Hit post too soon. So, sue me. Maybe I'm a dumbass, too. If so, Howard, we can skip off into the sunset together, drinking beers, ogling girls in thongs, and reveling in our status as dumbasses. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I like it. Sign me up, boss!
Posted at June 1, 2005 04:23 PMHoly cow, you have a cleaning lady??
That is monumentally sexy.
Posted at June 1, 2005 05:05 PMC: Ya big meany. :-)
Wicked H and Azalea: Today it's brown.
RP: Ticket is in the mail. We'll rendezvous at Dumbass Headquarters in South Beach at 1400 hours Saturday.
PS - I think 1400 is in the afternoon sometime.
Jett: I wish. She works for my company.
Posted at June 1, 2005 09:05 PMDude. I'll bring the funny hats and the t-shirts that say: "I'm with Stupid".
Gonna be big fun!
Posted at June 2, 2005 07:40 AMSo if I want to attend the meeting in South Beach, do I need to wear a leopard print thong or just admit to being a dumbass?
Patiently waiting......
Posted at June 2, 2005 12:58 PMHoly hell, if I could read for comprehension, I'da known that.
Let's blame it on the pain meds, okay??
Posted at June 2, 2005 02:19 PMWicked: RP and I have discussed it and we've agreed that if you do indeed show up in a thong, then we are going to be struck dumb.
Jett: Only if you share the meds. :-)
Posted at June 2, 2005 03:35 PM