March 31, 2006

The whole game

I wanted to share something interesting with you, Dear Reader. Well, it's interesting to me, so I hope you find it so.

Some of you may remember that some of my coworkers and I play in a spring basketball league. The league is comprised of current and former employees from my company. This is the 4th year we've been doing it, and this is they year I've enjoyed the most.

We've played two games so far and lost each time. That's not the interesting part...this is. In those two games, I've played all but maybe 3 or 4 minutes. And when I say I'm 'playing' the whole game, that's exactly what I mean. I'm not hanging around under the basket or out on the wing. I'm moving on the court. It's 30 to 45 minutes of sustained physical activity. Sure, I get tired as a mo' fo' out there, but I recover more quickly and continue playing. And best of all? Afterwards, no barfing. :-) Now at first glance, that may not seem like a big deal...however, it's huge when I think back to my last three seasons. And if this reads like I'm bragging...well, it's because I am.

Imagine being the fat guy who's worn out after the first 5 minutes. Imagine being scared that only three players will show up and you'll have to play the entire game. Imagine being relieved that you have to forfeit. That was me. Sometimes it's still me. But last night changed all of that...maybe not completely, but it put a huge hole in the center of those feelings.

I don't know if you can comprehend the enormity of this for me. I don't know if I can accurately describe to you how it feels. I just can't find the words to tell you what it feels like inside when I realize what losing weight and working out has given me. It's a feeling of accomplishment, a feeling of success, and it gives me what I lack most of all...the internal motivation to continue.

I've always been one of those guys that needs external motiviation to accomplish a goal or task. I do it because someone else will be proud of me for doing it or I do it for them. Many times, though, even that doesn't work. I get frustrated or discouraged or both and then quit. As I heard someone say one time, "That boy's got a lot of quit in him". It's true and there's no denying it. The pattern's been repeated countless times in my life. But something so simple as playing an entire 30 minute basketball game goes a long way towards changing all of this.

I'm actually looking forward to our next game, to the next time I can ride my bike, to the next time I go to lift weights or to spin class. Side note: I actually asked the spin instructor to put me through a hill-climbing class this past Tuesday and she did. I loved it. I sweated my chunky little ass off, but enjoyed every minute of it. I am looking forward to physical exertion. Me? Shit, I'd have bet you a million dollars that I'd never utter those words.

The trick is to figure out how to bottle this motivation juice so I can take a swig when I get down. And that's going to happen. No, I'm not being a defeatist, I'm being a realist. I know me and I know I'm going to get down on myself. The trick, folks, is learning to work through that and to kick my own ass back into gear. That will be the hardest part. Of that much I'm sure.

March 27, 2006

Quote of the Day

One of the guys said this today at break:

You wanna know why she's going? I'll give you two words. Boobs.

March 21, 2006

The Bee Man

So how come none of you told me that yellow jackets love holly bushes?

I took a half a day Friday because I was sick of this place...and I have plenty of vacation time. First thing I did was assemble the newest member of the family. Say hello to my new child, Weber. He's such a nice boy.

The instructions say you can put it together in 30 minutes...15 if you're a pro. I must be mentally challenged because it took me an hour and a half. (I would have said "I must be a retard", but of course, that's not politically correct and I don't want to get sued.)

Anyway, when I was done with that, I decided I'd cut the The lawn mower started on the first pull and off we go. Finished the front and side yards and then started the small section to the left of the driveway by the big holly bush. I walked right up to it, shoved the mover underneath to get the, and that's when I noticed the bee. Which quickly became two bees. Which then quickly became about 30 or 40 bees. Yeah. Ick.

I read somewhere a long time ago that if you get around bees, you should stand still. I don't remember if it said why you should do that, but it sounded like good advice so that's what I've always done. I killed the mower, stood still as a stone, and tried not to scream like a girl. Dude...I hate bees.

That must have been the longest minute or two of my life...well, that is if you don't count the first time I had sex. The bees decided that a sweaty former Jew didn't taste nearly as good as the flowers so they left me alone. Yeah, I know y'all were waiting for me to get the crap stung out of me, but my Bub didn't raise no fool. Apparently standing still works.

Anybody need two dead holly bushes? Take that bees!

March 13, 2006

You, Madam, are a dumbass

I was at a side client's office last Thursday or Friday, helping them with a small problem. I had to wait around for a while because the software I needed was in another attorney's office. During that time, I heard the following conversation.

Client: Here's the paperwork you needed for my extension.

Attorney: Good. Now are we all set for your court date?

Client: You know, I've been meaning to talk to you about that.

Attorney: Ok. Is there a problem I need to know about?

Client: Oh no! Sorry, it's nothing like that. It's...well...Um. What is the date again?

Attorney: It's next Monday, the 20th.

Client: Awesome! Whew, that's a relief. Thanks!

Attorney: Is that a problem?

Client: Oh no! Not at all. I just kept getting my court date confused with the date of the Motley Crue concert.

March 01, 2006

Technician, heal thyself

Stupid work laptop is giving me disk errors so now I'm scrambling to copy stuff from my hard disk to the network. And it's hard to ask my fellow techies for file server space for my mp3s. Luckily, I can get this stuff off of my iPod if I need to. This is going to be a pain in the ass.

In other news, booked my tickets for Florida today. WAHOO! Brother, sister-in-law, niece, nephew, and I are making our annual trip to see the Mom. As I've said before, with all of us there at once, it keeps the guilt to a minimum. The cool part is that I'm meeting them in Dallas then we're all flying to Ft Lauderdale together. It's actually cheaper for me to fly to Dallas from Jackson than it is to go to Atlanta. Plus, I think it'll be cool to surprise my nephew at the airport.