June 29, 2006

Hot, hot water

Wahoo! A brand-spankin' new water heater that was installed AND covered by my home owner's warranty. Now, if I could just figure out a way to get my A/C replaced.

June 27, 2006

I've had enough

This is why I've gotten sick of what I do...A help desk from one of our users.

Desktop printer no longer prints. Have to use HISD02 or HISD07 for all print (lots of walking).

We're talking 50 ft from her desk to the printers and back.


June 26, 2006

A new dog...almost

I can't tell you how close I came to getting another dog this weekend. I went to Petsmart to get treats and rawhide bones and saw several dogs in cages when I walked in. Something told me I needed to check out the blonde dog in the cage, but I ignored myself and went to find the treats.

As I was standing in the checkout line, I glanced at the dog and sure enough, she was missing a leg. A front leg. The front left leg, to be precise, which is exactly the same leg the other two are missing. So I stepped out of line and went over to her.

I put my fingers in the cage and instead of ignoring me, as she had several others, she came forward and gave me a tentative lick on my fingers. It was an extreme effort on my part to not get her. A Herculean effort if you want to know the truth.

There were two reasons why I didn't get her. I was worried how Fancy would react to her because she's not always good with other dogs. Plus, I don't think my yard is big enough for three three-leggers. Sure, it would have been cool to take them for a walk with all three missing the same leg, but that wasn't a good enough reason.

So, Dear Reader, common sense prevailed and I had to leave the puppy at the store. I hope she finds a good home.

June 22, 2006


I won't be around tomorrow, Dear Reader. It's Habitat for Humanity time and I'm going to be building stuff.

The Company gives us a "free" day if we participate, plus they provide transportation, drinks, and lunch. It's a ton of fun, AND I get to use powertools without any adult supervision.

Only downside? 92 degrees...and humid.

June 21, 2006

Welcome Saints!

Wahoo! The Saints come marching in...to my alma mater, no less.


Uh...I don't want to give the dogs back. I've gotten used to having them with me, waking me up at 5:30 every morning to give them treats, barking if a leaf moves, snuggling next to me on the couch, playing dead in the middle of the floor, and being incredibly excited to see me when I get home.

If I have to give them back, it's really going to hurt. Can you go to jail for dognapping your own dogs?

June 20, 2006

Hold the internet

I got a project yesterday that stated the following:

Per Senior Management. Box up all equipment in former VP's office(monitor, docking station, flat-panel monitor, and printer) and set up in former VP's home. He already has his laptop, but will need all other equipment. Coordinate delivery & setup with former VP.

The VP in question just retired so Senior Management decided to give him his hardware as a gift. We're giving him approximately $2,600 in equipment for free...and the kicker is this:

If he asks for access to the internet, explain to him that he will need to get a DSL connection.

In other words, we said, "Here, Dude. Take all of this hardware for free, but, uh, if you want internet access, you're going to have to pay for that on your own." We'd have been better off giving him access and keeping the hardware.

June 17, 2006

Rescue Me

OK...I'll admit. I'm hooked on Rescue Me. I didn't plan on it, but after two episodes, I'm addicted. The show is just incredibly good and one of the few shows to a) keep my attention and 2) make me laugh out loud.

I need some help though. I missed the first two seasons and am a bit confused. In the episode I just saw, from this season, Tommy beats the shit out of the guy who's dating his wife. Who is the guy? I know he's an attorney, but how does he fit into the picture? Any help would be appreciated.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go watch the next episode. You gotta love Tivo!

June 16, 2006

Suing the Colonel

I just read an article that says the Center for Science in the Public Interest is suing KFC because their chicken is cooked in oil that is "unhealthy". The Center for Science in the Public Interest? Oh man...the name alone makes me shudder. The next thing these "scientists" will be telling me is that porn is bad for me because it elevates my heart rate and causes swelling in the genitals.

I won't go over the specifics of the article because it's ridiculous. Of course KFC is unhealthy...it's fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and biscuits, the Holy Trinity of "stuff that ain't good for you". But you know what? I don't need you to tell me it's bad for me, or to file suit on my behalf. I need you to shut the f* up and keep your hands off my chicken.

I mean, really, leave the Colonel alone. He's got enough problems with PETA and Pam Anderson complaining that chickens are treated poorly before we eat them. They're chickens. They're supposed to be eaten. That's why they're here. If we aren't supposed to eat them, then why did God make everything taste like them? Alligator? Tastes like chicken. Frog's legs? Tastes like chicken. Tofu burgers? They'd taste like chicken if chicken tasted like ass. Treating a chicken humanely before butchering it is like swabbing the arm of a death row inmate with alcohol before inserting the needle.

If I were the judge and the attorney for the plaintiff said, "Your Honor, we're here because KFC is using oil that may be harmful to humans", you know what my response would be? "No shit. Now get your asses out of my f*in courtroom so I can go get me a 2 piece snack box, all white, crispy, with mashed potatoes and coleslaw. Case dismissed."

This just in...

The Manager of my group emailed everyone this morning to tell them that...email wasn't working. Um...

June 14, 2006

A tough life

Life is rough...

Keeping watch over the castle...

June 13, 2006

New roommates

There is a possibility that I will have two furry friends as permanent roommates...I am both excited and not excited about this prospect.

I am concerned about who will take care of them when I travel. Then I remember that I don't travel.

Then I think it is really nice to come home to someone. Then I remember that they're furry and their breath smells like ass.

Then I think that I won't want them staring at me if I get the chance to do the "ugly monkey dance". Then I remember it takes two to monkey.

Then I think that they bark too much. Then I remember that I'll whup their furry little asses if they keep that crap up.

Then I think how much I enjoy wrestling with Trey or letting Fancy on the couch so I can pet her. Then I know that everything will be ok.

The ex hasn't decided what she'll do and I'm not going to make the decision for her. If she wants to keep them, fine...if she wants me to keep them, fine. I'm good either way.

June 12, 2006

The ex is engaged

The ex got engaged this weekend. That, Dear Reader, is a strange sentence to write. Not strange in a "HOLY CRAP WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!!" kinda way, but in a "I'm happy that her life is moving forward" kinda way.

I'm genuinely happy for her. He seems like a great guy and obviously cares for her very much. And he can deal with her shithead sister, which is something I could never do.

At one point in the conversation she told me they're also going to try and have a baby. Again, I'm happy for them. There were a lot of reasons why I didn't want to have a child and many of them still apply...but there are times when those reasons seem petty and stupid. Although I am glad we didn't have a child because of the divorce.

I also feel weird about this whole thing. There are no feelings of regret for getting divorced because I know it was the right thing to do. I'm not upset at all that she's getting remarried or wanting a child. But there's an emptiness of sorts inside me now. It's hard to explain.

I'm not sad, Dear Reader...that much I do know. It's just...envy maybe? Maybe it's because she's found someone to love and to love her in return. Maybe it's because she doesn't have to face life alone. Maybe it's because her life is moving forward.

I don't know quite how to explain it, Dear Reader. I can't quite put my finger on how I feel. But empty seems to be a good starting place.

Gotta find my car keys. Fuck the price of gas...

June 11, 2006

Giro De Rankin

We had our annual bicycle race this weekend. It was fun, tiring, hot, sweaty, exhausting, hot, chaotic, hot, relatively accident free, hot, and hot. It was 96 degrees at noon yesterday and today, and little ol' me was out in the middle of it since I'm the Race Director. It was worth it, though.

We had an awesome turnout with people coming from Alabama, Mississippi, Texas, Louisiana, Tennessee, and Florida. I met some friends of a fellow blogger and hope they relay how great the race was. :)

I got paid for being Race Director this year, which was completely unexpected and also not necessary. I like to help because it's fun to be out there, although it's a huge amount of work. However...getting paid was a nice bonus. And it was a very nice check, too. And it's going into my savings account.

And in the TMI category:

Between 4am Saturday morning (yes, I was up at 4am) and 7:50pm Sunday night, I think I peed a total of 4 times...

June 08, 2006

Back to the Beginning

Some of you might have noticed a slight uptick in productivity here at 3ld, and I wanted to take a minute to explain why.

I stopped writing because I started thinking, and thinking always gets me in trouble. For the record, my thoughts were something like, “You know, you never write anything of substance.” But then I realized something, Dear Reader. The purpose of this blog was never to write anything “of substance”. It was created as a place for me to write what was going on in my head, what I thought, what I felt, and what I observed in the world around me.

For quite a while, ideas, thoughts, and absurdities would pop into my head, but I wouldn’t write about them. I would think, “Nah, you don’t want to post that, it’s stupid.” I discovered that I was censoring myself because I was afraid you, my 12 daily readers, wouldn’t like what I wrote. But guess what? I realized that my original intent was to write whatever I wanted, whether it was good or not, regardless of what others thought. So that’s what I’m going to start doing.

I don’t know what I’m going to write about in the future. It might be funny, it might be stupid, it might even be that “something of substance” that seems to want to come to the surface from time to time. Whatever IT is, I hope you enjoy it. Because I know I will…and that’s what matters most.

94 years old

There was a knock on my garage door late Sunday afternoon. I never heard it, but the dogs did and they went apeshit barking and running in circles...actually, the hopped around in circles...and can dogs go apeshit or do they go dogshit? Hmm...NOTE: I have the 3leggers this month and it's really kinda cool. It's fun to come home to someone, even if their breath smells like dead fish.

Anyway, I opened the door and there stood Mrs Ballard, one of the older ladies who lives across the street. In her hand was a foil-wrapped package that meant one thing...GOODIES!! She has given me some sweets once or twice and each time they were really good. This was just a bit different.

"I'm here to share my birthday cake with you," she said, "because I turned 94 today." Let me tell you something, Dear Reader. If I look HALF as good as this woman does when I'm 94, I'll be lucky.

I couldn't believe that she was really that old and asked if I could give her a hug for being 94. She took me up on it and that little ol' lady is strong! I got a bit nervous that she was wanting a little bit more than cake for her birthday, but luckily, I was way wrong. Whew.

As I reached for the cake plate, she drew back just a hair, probably because I reached quickly. Dude...it's birthday cake...I'd sell a 3legger for some good butter cream frosting on a white cake...Sorry, I'm drifiting. I took the plate from her and we talked for a few more minutes. Towards the end of the conversation, I realized that I was talking quite a bit louder than I normally do because 1) the dogs were barking and 2) I figured a 94 yr old woman might be hard of hearing. Since it was too late to stop, I kept doing it.

After a few minutes, we said our good-byes, and I walked back into the house to unwrap my treasure. Under the foil was 5 small pieces of white cake...with butter cream frosting...and they were cold. Nothing is better, to me, than cold cake and butter cream frosting. As I stared at then, willing myself to not dive in face first, a little thought blossomed in the back of my head.

She said, "I was sharing my cake with everyone in the neighborhood"...with everyone. For a brief moment, I wondered if the reason she flinched when I reached for the plate was because she wasn't offering me the whole plate...just one piece from the plate.

I pictured her walking away, shaking her head, and saying to herself, "That fat son of a bitch not only took ALL the cake, but then he yelled at me like I was some old fool. The next time I see him, he's getting a cane in the nads."

My next thought? CAKE! WAHOO!

June 07, 2006

AOL members complain

I replied to an email from a friend of mine that uses AOL for her email. About 10 seconds after replying, I got an email from AOL that said my message was not delivered. The email directed me to a URL that contained the reason why it wasn't delivered. A screen print of the URL is below. Notice the reason, which appears under the heading "EXPLANATION:". Click on the picture if you're having trouble reading it.

There was only one URL in the email.


Train to NYC

Do any of you know if I can take a train from Philly to New York City? Did a quick and dirty google search, but didn't come up with anything concrete. I may be in Philly in July and if I get some free time, I'm either hopping a train to NYC or heading to my old home town.

I'll keep searching, but if you know of anything, let me know.